Half Changed World

TVR: 51 Birch Street

This week I've got a video review instead of a book review.  This is actually one that a PR company sent me as a review copy, but then I didn't get around to watching it for over 6 months.  Oops.  51 Birch Street is an autobiographical documentary about the filmmaker's parents, and how after his mother's death and his father's swift remarriage, Doug Block discovered that their relationship was a lot more complicated than he had believed.

The inevitable comparison is to Capturing the Friedmans, because of the use of extensive home video footage.  But unlike the Friedmans, the Blocks don't have a deep dark secret.  The surprise for Doug Block is that, as he reads his mother's diaries, he discovers that she was deeply unhappy in her marriage, and that during the 70s she had an affair.  Not exactly earthshattering.  But what makes the movie compelling, although deeply sad, is that as Block shows more and more of the family footage, it becomes increasingly obvious that his mother wasn't exactly hiding her unhappiness.  And yet, although Block opens the movie by saying that he and his mother always had a special connection, he was clearly blind to it.

My take-away from the film is that when Block says that he was close to his mother, he means that he was able to talk with her about himself (as contrasted with his father, whom he had difficulty talking with).  It doesn't mean that he was able to listen to her, or to see her as a person separate from her role as a mother.  That's probably pretty common, but I found it sad.

Pantry chili

Via an article in the Washington Post, I recently found a food blog called The Perfect Pantry.  I particularly like the recurring feature called Other People's Pantries, and intend to submit mine soon. 

The process of unpacking our supplies into the new kitchen did make me aware of just how many spices, oils, etc I've accumulated.  Sometimes it's because I try a new recipe that requires a new ingredient, but as often it's because I see something interesting in the Asian grocery and decide to give it a try.  Unfortunately, given the constraints on my time, I'm afraid that buying new ingredients is as likely to be a substitute for cooking as an inspiration...

This recipe for Clean the Freezer Chili inspired me to make a batch of chili myself, with the rule that I could only use ingredients that I had on hand.  I don't stock tempe, so I used bulgar cooked in canned crushed tomato as the base.  I had an open jar of mole sauce, so that went in. What else?  Black beans, ancient sun-dried tomatoes, veggie stock, green peppers, fresh tomatoes, onions, celery.  Chili powder, cumin, paprika.  I thought the result was just ok -- a bit too salty for my taste, but T. liked it, and thought it was surprisingly "meaty" for veggie chili.

Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all, and a particular prayer for children who have lost their mothers and mothers who have lost their children.

My mom's been busily trying to give things away to reduce the "stuff" in her life, and so asked me to make a contribution rather than buy something for her.  In case you might be similarly inclined, here are two organizations that seem appropriate:

• UNFPA -- the United Nations Population Fund.  They support contraception, maternity care, fistula repair, and HIV/AIDS prevention.  The Bush Administration has refused to release congressionally appropriated funds to UNFPA since 2002.

• UNICEF -- the United Nations Children Fund.  They're collecting money for relief in Myanmar/Burma right now, but it's probably more useful to donate without restriction, and let them decide where it's most needed.

Paid parental leave for feds

Just wanted to give a heads up that HR 5781, which would provide federal employees with 4 weeks of paid parental leave, is headed to the House floor for a vote next week.   (If you read the bill text at that link, it will say it's 8 weeks of paid leave, but it was cut to 4 weeks in committee.)  Outside of the DC area, this probably hasn't gotten much attention, so it's worth dropping your Representative a line to encourage support.

I used to be a fed, and lots of people were shocked when I told them that I didn't get any paid maternity leave.  The feds generally provide good benefits, so everyone assumes that they provide parental leave.  They don't -- and they don't have any sort of short-term disability program, either -- although you can use any annual leave (vacation) or sick leave that you've accrued.  The problem is that while long-term federal employees often have months and months of sick leave accrued up, most of the people who have babies aren't long-term employees (since the federal government hires very few 12 year olds).  By hoarding my leave days carefully, and working up to the day I went into labor, I was able to take 12 weeks off with pay when I had D.  When I had N, less than 3 years later, there was no way I could have saved up enough leave -- and I was better off than most second-time parents, as T was staying home with D, so I didn't have to use up sick days when he was sick.

So, this bill both makes parenting significantly more manageable for federal employees, and also puts the federal government on record that parental leave is important.  And it even has a chance of being passed in both Houses.

WBR: Life Work

This week's book is Life Work, by Donald Hall.  When I agreed to review The Ten Year Nap, the blog tour organizers sent me links to some resources, including a review that said: "In fact, the novel, like poet Donald Hall's memoir "Life Work," is a passionate paean to the redeeming power of purposeful occupation."  This sent me off looking for Hall's book.

Life Work is a short book, really just an extended essay.  In unfussy but eloquent prose, Hall writes about his daily routine, and connects it to the lives of his ancestors, in particular his maternal grandfather, in whose house he lives.  For him, contentment is "work so engrossing that you do not know you are working," what others might call "flow."  He writes about waking up in the morning, wondering if it's close enough to 5 am that he can reasonably get up and start working on his poems.  He criticizes the idea that only what is paid should be considered valuable.

Hall writes with love about his ancestors, and their work, especially his grandparents who were farmers in a time and place where farmers could still do a bit of everything -- raise cows for dairy, chickens for pullets and eggs, maple syrup, enough vegetables to eat year round.  Except for buying store-bought cloth, their lives were closer to the prototype of the Ingalls family than to modern farmers.  And he contrasts them with his father, who spent his life doing the books for his family's dairy business, and hating every minute of it.

I still can't decide whether I believe that Hall's grandparents were as content with their lives of unremitting labor as he makes them out to be.  He writes that his grandmother had planned to be a medical missionary until her mother died, and then she set all those plans aside to keep house for her father and later her husband and children, without a word of complaint.  I think there's a difference between being not unhappy and being happy, and it's hard to know where they would have fallen.  And for all of Hall's romanticization of his grandparents' lives, he doesn't have any interest in taking up farming himself, unlike his friend Wendell Berry.

In any case, it's a lovely little book, filled with Hall's love for his work, his wife, and his family.